If you sat down and said, "I'm going to design a public issue that is the absolute worst nightmare of every scientist, of every communicator in the world," you couldn't do better than the greenhouse effect. You're dealing with something that's very complicated. You're dealing with something where there's legitimate uncertainty in the science. It's not that people are trying to pull the wool over anybody's eyes. There's legitimate uncertainty. You're dealingwith something that has enormous consequences for people. And you're dealing with something whose effects will happen 30 years down the road, you know, when they happen. And then you say- you give people this and say, "Okay, do something about it."
For context.
The Crystal Vase: A one act play in three scenes.
Cast, in order of appearance:
Futzinfarb
Futzinfarb’s spouse
Millie, an orbital forcing cat
Trouble, an AGW monkey
Antimarx, a pet store clerk
Scene 1: A cozy living room, two chairs arranged around a fireplace
Futzinfarb: I sure do like that expensive crystal vase you gave me.
Fuzinfarb’s spouse: You’re welcome dear.
Futzinfarb: And it looks so nice on the mantelpiece.
Futzinfarb’s spouse: Indeed.
Millie: Meow!
Futzinfarb: Oh look, isn’t that cute? Millie likes the vase also. She’s rubbing against it….. Oh, oh no, it’s starting to tip! Millie! Stop! No! Bad cat!
Futzinfarb’s spouse: Oops, there it goes!
(Sound of vase smashing to bits.)
Futzinfarb: Fudge.
Futzinfarb’s spouse: Double fudge.
Millie: Meow!
Scene 2: The same living room, the next morning.
Futzinfarb: Oh look, honey – we won the ebay auction for the vase! It will be a perfect replacement for the one that Millie tipped off the mantel last night.
Futzinfarb’s spouse: I’ll go get my credit card. You’d better figure out what to do about Millie before the replacement vase gets here.
Millie: Meow!
Scene 3: A pet store, later that afternoon.
Futzinfarb: I want to complain about Millie, this cat that you sold me last week.
Millie: Meow!
Trouble: Ee, ee, ee. Ooh, ooh!
Futzinfarb: She rubbed up against an expensive crystal vase that we had on our mantel last night. It rocked and then tipped off the mantel and smashed to bits.
Futzinfarb’s spouse (wandering away, distracted): Cool! A tarantula!
Millie: Meow!
Trouble: Ee, ee, ee. Ooh, ooh!
Futzinfarb (ignoring Futzinfarb’s spouse, who is sticking one hand into a tarantula cage): We bought a replacement vase, but what do you suggest we should we do about Millie’s bad behavior?
Antimarx: No problem! We’ll happily trade in your cat Millie for this monkey, Trouble. Since Millie is the one that tipped your vase off the mantel last night, you’ll have nothing to worry about with Trouble.
Millie: Meow!
Futzinfarb’s spouse: Ouch!
Trouble: Ee, ee, ee. Ooh, ooh!
Curtain falls.
Update: It has a name.
